Anxiety... ~

anxious wait
@ the moment...

1. 28 days to cover post, the eligible candidate availability is looming large..

2. who will b contested @ hulu selangor parliamentary seat?

3. my 3rd trip to Borneo..can't wait uh?

* hope everything smoother than ever...*

:: What If ::

" everything just gonna b fine "

we always heard that.
the truth is how long we hv to suffer
b4 that excuse can b true & true again??

" lets bygones be bygones "

we always heard that.
the truth is it always better said than done..

" everything happens for a reason "

we always heard that.
the truth is what if something can be done
in a proper way, & stay calm if something went a wrong way..

___________________________________________________________

its time to search my soul..

im not good enough really
i hv my own restrictions
in my own behaviours
i want to b forgiven & to forgive
but it seems my hardworks , my initiatives
no more matters.

i knew deep inside of me
i can't change what happened before.
neither i can ignore others judgement
even though how hard i try not to listen
it seems my only option is..
move on with my borrowed times.

S.E.S.A.T.

Oh Oh
ajaran sesat ade d mner2!
tergelak pun ada.
coz dlm HM hari ini,
ajaran itu sudah merebak ke Putrajaya..

tergelak itu bukanlah kerna suka hati.
TIDAK,TIDAK!
tergelak itu hanyalah sekadar sinikal.
almaklumlah mengenangkan byk perkara2 lagha
dh dibuat & sedang dibuat oleh masyarakat Islam kini..

x tunaikan solat, x puasa ramadhan,
x keluar zakat , x pergi haji sedangkan berkemampuan
itu belum lg yg terlibat
sumbang mahram , berzina
minum arak semacam minum teh pekat ,
beri & terima rasuah
tikam nombor ekor dan mcm2 lg la..

hakikatnya ada yg dh lama tersesat..
dh x tahu halal haram
menghalalkan yg dh secara naklinya haram
mengharamkan yg dh secara naklinya halal
amalkan separuh , tolak saja yg separuh lagi
ikut suka saja , hentam keromo
apabila nafsu bermaharajalela
membutakan mata hati...

mahu jadi 1/73
atau mahu jadi 72/73
tepuk dada, tanyalah iman ~

sesatkah kita ??!!

~ 3 tahun sudah berlalu pergi... ~

Hari ini
5 februari 2010
cukuplah 3 thn aku bergelar
seorg penjawat awam..

byk sungguh yg dilalui
spjg berkhidmat dlm kerajaan ni.
so far mmg layan je keje mcm skrg ni..

dh la dok kt suruhanjaya je.
mmg komuniti yg kechik je
mudah nk kenal rakan2 sekerja
birokrasi pun kurang
ape2 urusan dlm dept
terus berhubung dgn person in-charge..

cuma dlm 4 5 bulan yg lalu
ramai sungguh kwn2 pergi cari tapak lain
samaada dlm suruhanjaya ataupun dlm skim
posting secara rela / terpaksa
atas keperluan perkhidmatan katanya..;)

aku masih lg di sini
berkhidmat dgn penuh setia
tiada rungutan yg ketara
almaklumlah agak selesa brkhidmat di state,
sumenya adalah in 'perfect condition'
sket2 problem kt opis tu
pandai2lah nk setelkan...hehe

cuma rasa bosan ade membelenggu diri
almaklumlah thn lps saja punyelah
byk by-election & kursus2 yg perlu bertugas/ dihadiri,
tp masuk thn 2010 ni,
sebarang bayangan utk outstesen lg
masih blm kenampakan...

harapannya keputusan rayuan semakan kehakiman ke atas
keputusan mahkamah tinggi berhubung
kekosongan kerusi adun kota siputeh
dpt didengar secepat mungkin...

:: Predestined ::

r u ready
to sit 4 PTK
4 the 1st time??

even though my status
as 'berjaya' / 'tidak berjaya'
still in balance
until 8 february 2010 i guess..

but the tension,
nervous & anxiety
starting to accumulate
inside my soul..

this predicament
is something i hv to endure
3weeks from now on..
and do all the preparation - study,spot,revise
in the fortnight times...

until now,
im not sure how to start
studying..huhu..